mission.japan

Sunday afternoon found our two-car caravan navigating a labyrinth of twisty little roads, all alike, to Tamano. There we boarded a ferry for an hour-long hop across the Seto Inland Sea to the city of Takamatsu. This counts as my second time to be in Takamatsu, but the first time to actually stay.

Takamatsu Bible Church, a stone’s throw from the Toyoko Inn in which we are all staying, is kindly providing a place for the crowd of West Japan missionaries to meet from today until Tuesday. Neil Ryan (from Australia, and Matt and I agree that Australians sound just plain cool whenever they speak) will give four messages over the next 48 hours on various topics.

The general theme this year is “Risky Faith”. Neil’s first message tonight came from the account of Benaiah in the 23rd chapter of 2nd Samuel. Particular emphasis went to the part about killing a lion in a pit on a snowy day, from which Neil drew the question, “Are you still willing to chase lions?” In other words, are you still willing to take on challenges that you might think are impossible?

2 Samuel 23 isn’t the only example of a challenge, of course. Although not all Biblical accounts of God giving challenges to people are rosy. There’s the 12 spies sent into Canaan in the book of Numbers. Ten didn’t want to take the challenge. There’s Jonah. He didn’t want the challenge of Nineveh. Peter. At first he couldn’t face the danger of being associated with Jesus, so he denied Jesus three times just before Jesus was crucified. Moses. Practically made God jump through hoops before he could obey the command to return to Egypt.

And then there are missionaries (which, Neil reminded everyone, are not superheroes—they’re just normal Christians). I talked with Matt a bit after the message and we both left with the same question of whether we’re stepping out too early. (Conferences tend to do that. You come in with one set of ideas and then it gets shaken by something else.) Being the eternal skeptic, I’ve already asked myself this question. I still think the time is right to leave. But the question of coming back remains. Most people here know I’m leaving soon, so the next question is, “Are you coming back?” To which I answer every time, “I don’t know.”

I know I want to come back—that’s not at issue. But how and when is unclear. It’s definitely going to bear more resemblance to chasing a lion into a pit on a snowy day than something that just happens without any work. So if I really want to come back to Japan the issue is whether I’ll have the courage to make it happen (which means earning or raising enough money and possibly even getting some sort of theological education if I’m going to do this long-term) or if I’ll just settle back into life in the States and try to forget about coming back to Japan (which I know I’ll never be able to do).

So “I don’t know” stands for, “I understand that God can bring me back here if he wants to, but I don’t know if I personally have the guts to do what’s necessary to realize that goal.”